Lady Says...

Welcome to the lounge...

Just want to thank you for visiting. Trying to work things out in life though my writing, hope you can help me and enjoy yourselves at the same time. Must see posts are Introductions, Gimmie, Contentment, Recession..., & the Chewing the Cud Series. However, feel free to browse any of the entries.

I encourage you to please please post comments and requests -- I'd like to know what you think.

much love,

C.

That Last Time.

Remember the last time you saw a good looking man?

Not just handsome, but truly beautiful. Remember the first time you saw his lips break into a smile? It was enough to get you thinking, entertain the idea of being with him. Doesn't matter how well you do or don't know him, whether or not you're looking for a relations- in that instant you're toying with the idea of seeing that smile over the breakfast table. Remember seeing someone that fine that for a moment, you projected him into your future.

As this little montage of your hypothetical life plays, he notices you. Its a split second where you have to decide several things: First, is he even looking at you? Do you smile or just acknowledge him with your eyes? Do you speak first? Ironically enough all these decisions hinge on just how FINE he is.

Because there are those men that are just that good looking that you just have to speak first. Then he speaks, and is voice sounds so good that you just have to be the initiator, the instigator of whatever there is to come...

Fast forward to the first time the two of you are alone together. That moment when he tempts you just to see if you'll take the bate. Think how you looked at him, a warning almost of what you could do. He's so fine that when you look at him you want to tell him what you could do for him, what you would do for him. You massage him so that he has an idea, just an idea of how hard you would work for him. You kiss and suck his ear softly just to give him an idea of how you would support him. Think how you danced for him just to give him an idea, just an idea, of how you can please him.

Because he's so fine, you allow him to interrupt this projection and bring you back to earth even though there's a chance he may never live up to your fantasy... but you hope he does. He's talking to you and you're multi tasking: listening, responding, analyzing, daydreaming and hoping.

Hoping.

Hoping.

Let it Flow.

Feeling Dark.

Did you ever stare in the mirror and try and live with what you see?

Trying to put yourself in the place of everyone else-
how they feel, what they think when they look at you?

Did you ever stare at your reflection and get that
tight sick feeling in your stomach, like you'll cry at any moment?

Did you ever analyze your mouth, your lips or your eyes for sexuality so far gone?

Ever wanted to rip all your hair out?
Take a pen and scratch out your reflection like a typo or a silly cartoon in the margins of your paper?

Do you mussy your hair around and turn your chin into your shoulder
trying to find your good side, to catch the light in your own eyes?
Staring until the person that you see is not only vacant, but unfamiliar?

If you've done this-any of this-you know how wonderful it is when you can look into the mirror and smile.